


truly your own

by Sotong_sotong



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Challenge: Sport Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2016, M/M, Memory Loss, Self-Discovery, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8595121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sotong_sotong/pseuds/Sotong_sotong
Summary: They’ve been likened to a pair of komainu guardians before, courageous and protective to those under their wing, and Iwaizumi supposes it is apt that Oikawa chooses this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written many, many months ago for the Sports Anime Shipping Olympics' Bonus Round 1, and though my writing style has changed since then, it is one of the fondest fills I've ever done ;;u;; so I took it out for a bit of editing and here it is.

始め ( _beginning_ )

 

He does not have any clear memory of how he came into being; it comes into harsh irony with his name but it is what is: Hajime may be named after “beginning”, however, it is his own origins that he has no knowledge of. There is no _ping _at the back of his mind, no sudden recollection about his parents nor other blood relations.__

__He is alone in that regard._ _

__What Hajime does know are the streets: its stalls with their peddlers, hidden shortcuts to winding alleyways, the gap between the rich and abandoned, and the deeper façade under its surface._ _

__He knows of the underworld, and in extension, its _yakuza_._ _

__It is through them that Hajime finds his very own start; a hand comes his way, offering a place for him to belong in return for an endless loyalty and a body unflinching towards death._ _

__And Hajime takes it, because who will he be then, if nothing but a street rat?_ _

__ (who are you, what do you want to be, where is the beginning and where is its end) _ _

__When he shares sake from a single cup with the _oyabun_ of Aobajōsai –gumi, Hajime thinks _I want to be an identity_ , and makes his first step towards it as a _kobun_._ _

__(Please let not all who wander continue to be lost.) 通 ( _pass through_ )_ _

__

__Hajime does not know what to make of the _oyabun_ ’s heir initially._ _

__Oikawa Tooru is as such: he’s flighty, quick to whine and cling, but he is also one of the scariest people Hajime has ever come across in his life._ _

__Upon their first meeting after the sake ceremony, he had come up to Hajime all smiles, wide eyes and blaring contradictions because the moment their hands met to shake, the boy’s grip was iron._ _

__“Welcome home, Hajime,” says his mouth yet his teeth are bared, and Hajime is unprepared for this._ _

__ (For how does one follow a storm so contained?) _ _

__Hajime inclines his head in accordance to respect and formality, fingers tightening involuntarily when Oikawa huffs out a soft laugh._ _

__“What are you so afraid of?”_ _

__His head snaps up just as Oikawa pulls away from their connection. Everything about the other boy is relaxed now, but Hajime is all too familiar with sharpness and the ways it stays hidden._ _

__And Oikawa Tooru definitely knows how to cut._ _

__“Better get a grip of yourself soon, Hajime-chan! Who knows what might happen if you don’t,” comes his words, playful enough to tease, and then, he waves to leave._ _

__It does nothing to put Hajime at ease._ _

__

__

__時々 ( _sometimes_ )_ _

__

__He sees flashes, though, of what Oikawa could be, the magnitude of personal will stretching under his skin._ _

__Sometimes, Oikawa flits among the _oyabun_ ’s henchmen, quietly gathering information while making sure there are no signs of internal revolt. He does it so artfully that nobody really notices they’re being screened, all of them oblivious like cells under a microscope; if Hajime was not any wiser, he might have been pulled along as well._ _

__But then, sometimes, he also shows Hajime that he is kind._ _

__“Hajime’s a nice name and all, but just that alone doesn’t really cut it. Don’t you think so?,” Oikawa begins one day as he settles beside Hajime while they are waiting for a council between the leaders of Aobajōsai –gumi and a counterpart from Tokyo to finish._ _

__“No,” Hajime slowly gives in, just to be safe. “It doesn’t.”_ _

__“So, find another one as your surname. Make it something truly your own!” Tooru’s eyes sparkle, hands clapping together in excitement. In this instance, Hajime recalls that the boy is still only just sixteen. It is almost uncomfortable how Oikawa both acts his age and years beyond him, really._ _

__ (Still, something truly his own?) _ _

__Hajime thinks for a bit. “…Iwaizumi?”_ _

__Oikawa wrinkles his nose but seems to accept it. “Another stuffy name, seriously? Well, your choice then.” With that, he sits straighter and his face becomes stone. “Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi Hajime. May we work together well too in the future.”_ _

__His head spins a bit at the sudden turn of attitude. Frowning, he asks, “What do you mean by that?”_ _

__Oikawa’s eyes narrow as the next words leave his lips. “Father’s making you my right hand man when I take over. Please don’t let him down, Iwa-chan.”_ _

__He definitely should be more alarmed over this sudden news. Instead, Hajime finds himself snapping, _“It’s Iwaizumi, not ‘Iwa-chan’!”__ _

__There is a moment or two of absolute silence as Hajime mentally berates himself for being rude to _oyabun_ ’s own son, but Oikawa seems to have different ideas. In fact, he _crows_._ _

__“There it is! I knew there was something more under that stone face, Iwa-chan!” He starts clapping Hajime heartily on the back. “You can’t hide anything from Oikawa-san!”_ _

__ (A switch changes between the two of them then.) _ _

__And just like that, just like the brush of a passing dragonfly, Oikawa gets up to move on. Before he’s fully turned the corner though, he calls out, tone sincere._ _

__“Be sure to come into your own self before then!”_ _

__ (It rings in Hajime’s head on and on, always, sometimes.) _ _

__

__

__入れ墨 ( _irezumi_ )_ _

__

__When it is Oikawa’s turn to move forward as _oyabun_ , Iwaizumi accompanies him to the _horishi_. Oikawa has managed to negotiate with the esteemed Horiyoshi III for his customary tattoos on this particular date, so they come in for Oikawa’s very first _Sujibori_ session._ _

__Oikawa, out of stubbornness of some sort, refused earlier to tell Iwaizumi about the motif he chose for his back, but Iwaizumi has plenty of time to discover now as he watches the _horishi_ freehandedly set to work._ _

__It is quiet here, in the _horishi’s_ room, only the _thrum_ of the electric needle and the sounds of the television playing inside breaks its peace softly. He can see the grimaces that Oikawa pulls when the needle goes deep but this is something he cannot help with; Oikawa has to endure it alone._ _

__For without the pain, there is nothing to be proud of. The longer a person can go through with the process, the better their tattoos will be._ _

__At one point, his _oyabun_ physically flinches. Thankfully, the _horishi_ has anticipated this so no lines are skewed when Oikawa’s skin ripples, he masterfully keeps most of the skin still with a firm grip on Oikawa’s back._ _

__Iwaizumi is silently impressed. “That was extremely skillful, Horiyoshi-san.”_ _

__The man does not look up when he acknowledges Iwaizumi’s words. “Painters can tear up their paintings if they screw up; a ceramic artist can break their work, destroying any evidence of failure.” Here, he turns around to refill his ink, and smiles at Iwaizumi before he resumes, “A tattooist’s only option is to kill their subjects and bury them if they make a mistake. And that’s not a thing we want now, do we?”_ _

__Oikawa grits out a _“he’s just joking”_ upon noticing the way Iwaizumi’s body stiffens._ _

__When all is done for now, Oikawa gets up. Iwaizumi sucks in a breath._ _

__A pair of komainu adorn his shoulder blades in perfect symmetry, their bottom half a forest of peonies with a river parting though to flow into the small of his back. It has yet to be coloured but the design is already a wonder to behold as it is._ _

__If he looks harder, he can make out the barest characters of “阿吽”, a _kakushibori_ cleverly integrated into the petals of the peonies._ _

__“This is why I didn’t want to tell you before, Iwa-chan.” It is only Oikawa who can look so smug despite the amount of pain he’s currently in. “Did you like my surprise?”_ _

__He is unable to look away, still, so he is honest. “I do. It’s amazing.”_ _

__ (They’ve been likened to a pair of komainu guardians before, courageous and protective to those under their wing, and he supposes it is apt that Oikawa chooses this.) _ _

__Oikawa’s lips turn into the smallest of smirks. “Get one like mine too when you do yours.”_ _

__And all Iwaizumi can say in the advent of it all is: “why not?”_ _

__

__ (he knows now, where he begins, and where he ends)  
(he begins as hajime, and ends with tooru.) _ _

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Horiyoshi III is an actual Japanese tattoo master and what he says to Iwaizumi at the end is a direct quote from a documentary that featured him! (I'll link the video of it here once I find it again)
> 
> 2) This was pure 4AM fever dream writing so I'm sorry if there's not much background context. Still, thanks for reading!


End file.
